can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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