you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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