im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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