I am in a vortex of obligation.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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