whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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