My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
