Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
