You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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