You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
