watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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