He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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