he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
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