But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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