dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
