He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
That reminds me...we need to get swords
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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