I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize