Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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