Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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