you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
