We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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