margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
