I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
