Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
