Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
