What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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