Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Randomize
