can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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