My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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