There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
