guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
