Only a mothe r could love this liver
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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