I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
we're making bets on your personal life
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
