I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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