dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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