Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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