I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
