You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
