ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
