I am puke
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
