The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Please, let me fuck your mom
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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