I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
A+ Viking dick
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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