Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
