party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
