I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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