I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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