Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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