Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Randomize
