did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
