My first STD was from a foam party
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
