Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
