also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
