I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
