hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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