Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
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