Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
You were trust falling into bushes
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
