whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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