i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Randomize
