dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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