I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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