At least make sure they are 18
Why
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
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