Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize