When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
