There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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