Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
