after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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